What will I do? When will it happen? What will they do? Maybe this decision will be better.
These are some common dilemmas you’ve probably faced many times. You made a decision with the information available to you and then two days (or two hours) later you’re wanting to un-decide, to re-decide, to decide differently. With a little bit of thinking (read: constant, incessant ruminating), and a little bit of analysing (read: obsessively deconstructing every element), you come up with an entirely new opinion or decision on the matter.
Yes, it is exhausting.
It’s one thing to get dressed, look in the mirror on your way out the door, and rush back into your closet to put on a completely different outfit. It’s another to do that with important decisions pertaining to your life – a decision you made on a project, a conversation with your parents, who you’re dating, where you’re moving, the place you’re living, or even the gym you joined.
If you second-guess your every move, you’ll lose your ability to make any move at all. More importantly, what’s at the heart of all your second-guessing is that you’re not, in fact, trusting yourself, the flow of life or what it takes to handle whatever’s coming your way.
The next time you feel inclined to second-guess yourself, remember these useful reminders.
Every time you look back on bad decisions you have made, bear in mind that it wouldn’t have led you to take the next step which led you to make a particular choice or meeting a person, etc which ultimately got you to where you are today. The point is, you WILL bounce back. You will salvage yourself and eventually make an informed and right decision only by taking a few “wrong” ones first.
Believe in yourself. Trust that you will find a way to be OK if you fail. Don’t undermine your own talents and skills as you may be able to turn things around in the future. Developing a good support network to fall back on will work to your benefit in the long run.
Most choices can be undone
Not everything presents a hopeless situation or a dead-end. Yet, as human beings we tend to allude to the understanding that all our decisions are permanent. They’re not. They’re not even close to permanent. Will it be ideal? Probably not. Will it be undone immediately? Nope. But with time, a bit of grace, and determination…..a decision can be undone later down the road. Remembering that life isn’t static is a great way to keep from wondering if it’s the 100% perfect decision. It’s probably not. But let it be good enough, for now.
There are many routes to the same place
We forget that as we’re trying to get to point B – our goal, our end game, our mission – there are many paths we may take to achieve a particular goal. Sure, we like to believe “we know the one way” but we really don’t. And if you allow “the how” to show up in ways you didn’t expect, you’ll see that even if you pass that one turn you thought you had to take in order to get there…or if you turned down a road you thought was the right one and it ended up being the wrong one…it doesn’t mean you need to turn back. You can keep going, get creative, and figure out ways you never knew existed to get you to that intended destination. Trust those paths will show up for you, even if right now you don’t believe that they exist because you can’t see them. You will.
By trusting yourself and having faith in the natural turn of events as well as the possibilities and opportunities yet to unfold, you will learn to live for another day.